“Don’t”, Taneya muttered. I looked at the boy. He was sweating profusely, and he looked very tired and lost.
My mind wasn’t working. It wasn’t supposed to, after what the doctor told me two hours ago. In the auto from Devi Shetty hospital to Jadavpur University, those lines constantly played in my mind- “Asish, I’m really sorry to tell you this. Your father’s hands are in very bad condition. I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to save both of them. Perhaps the left hand can be restored....”
Restored. Well said, doc! How about restoring my dad’s life when he realises after coming back to his senses that his right hand’s gone? How about restoring my mom’s? Or fucking mine? My little sister. Can you restore her life? No you can’t. No one can. Give me the papers. I’ll sign them.
I went straight to the university to inform the HOD that I wouldn’t be able to appear for the semester. I was waiting outside his room when someone tapped my shoulder.
“Dada, amar maa khub oshushtho. Kaal train-e onar daan paa ta kata gachhe. Uni NRS-e bhorti. Hoyto banchben na. Daktar babu bolechhen onek taka lagbe jodi...”
I stood there, seeing myself in him. Perhaps he saw himself in me too. “Don’t”, Taneya muttered, when I took out my wallet. I had only two hundred-rupee notes. I gave him one, and asked him “koto lagbe?” He needed nine hundred more to urgently buy an injection and medicines. I took him with me to the Bengali and Economics departments. Friends from my department gave him whatever they could. Two hours later, he went back to his mother. That was the only good thing that happened that day.
It was my first day at the university after a gap of two months. Dad was still in a hospital, stable now, and my mother and sister had gone back to Kharagpur. My life was divided into attending classes and being with dad. Our lives turned out to be a prolonged nightmare after the accident. But I was fast getting used to it. And I was impatient that Amlan Da was late. I was craving for his class, because that was the only thing that could keep my mind away from the mess that I was in. There were around thirty of us in the classroom. Taneya was beside me, telling me what delicacies her mom had sent for both of us. Suddenly a boy walked in, and all of us looked at him. He wasn’t a student, for sure. Even before one of us could ask him why he was there, he began to talk. “Dada ra, amar maa khub oshushtho. Kaal train-e onar daan paa ta kata gachhe. Uni NRS-e bhorti. Hoyto banchben na. Daktar babu bolechhen onek taka lagbe jodi onake bachate hoy...”
“You bastard!” Taneya lunged at him. He ran away. The whole class was silent. Taneya sat down beside me and hugged me tightly. “It’s ok Asish”, she said. It's ok...
Nice. Refreshing. Besh valo laglo. Short, simple and flawless.except for the last line.In my humble opinion, compared to the rest of it, Taneya's words are, forgive me, a bit uncool. I mean, not as crisp as the rest. The whole piece has a very modern, real life feel to it. whereas that single sentence sounds a bit filmy(prosenjit prosenjit type).
ReplyDeleteRoon, THANK YOU. Your comments are crucial to my art. I have replaced that last sentence with something more real life. I'm happy that you loved my story, my dear brother.
ReplyDeleteAshish....This piece of yours shows that you have a keen observation. For me this was a heart touching article. But 'Yes' I agree with Roon..The conclusion was a bit Filmy and I am stunned that it was actually true that happened with you. Really 'APPRECIATE' your flawless work...Keep Going...
ReplyDeleteSurprised to see that you still remembered the incident so minutely...Aal izz well till the last part...Crafted quite cleverly with a dash of imagination. But the last part, I'm sorry, is too melodramatic. And I vehemently oppose to the word being attributed to being mine there. Otherwise, a fine effort.
ReplyDeleteLike in the case of previous blogs, I have a clarification for this one too! To begin with, Taneya is a very good friend from Jadavpur University. She's not my girlfriend. She's a very successful news reader in a Kolkata based news channel. Also, she never uses the F or B words. She's a very nice and polite human being. I myself do not use the F word. This is another short story where I have borrowed heavily from my life, and have liberally sprinkled imaginative elements, to make the piece a good read. I do not wish to convey wrong ideas about any one. And lastly, about the end being 'melodramatic' etc, guys, it's my story! I write stories my way, just as I see the world my way. You could differ on certain points, but you will have to accept it. If you want us to know what's your take on things, write stuff and post them! We would all love to read them! Thank you so much for the feedback. I hope there's more coming. Positive, negative, they all prove that my art has the appeal. I couldn't have asked for more, my dear friends! Love you all.
ReplyDeleteThis article is really appealing.Every sentence has the strength to bring back my past memories regarding dad's accident.This piece of yours portrays the present condition of our society where people like us are emotional fools & people like that guy in your article cash our emotions.Flawless writing..waiting for your next article.
ReplyDeleteyou have told the fact to us before while we were in VU. Once while we were on the way towards our university in Barasat, a little boy stepped into the train. He was wearing a dhoti. He told "Dada, amar baba mara gechen. tar kajer jonno kichu help korun". Instantly I gave him a little money. Watching that one of my friends told "why did you give him the money? Do you know that he was telling the truth?" May be he was a liar, but it was really tough for me not to believe him, sorry.
ReplyDeleteA fantastic effort of expressing a personal experiance....nothing to say about the literature...let the end be a bit dramatic because there should be some mashalaa for the readers....about that incident i can say as per my experiance ...a lot and lot of people are suffering around us.what we see is only the iceberg...may be one or two are fake between them but we cant separate as we dont want two disbelieve at that point of time and help as much as possible...coz we are emotional....yeaahh we are emotional because we like to be emotional.
ReplyDeleteGreat work Asish, however I am a little apprehensive about the F word being used...considering you have a mixed bag readership encompassing 'people' from all walks of life, especially your college. Keep at it....
ReplyDeleteAs always,a very good read indeed.In my opinion the usage of the F-word is very apt in the situation that it is used here.The article being heavily borrowed from real life,it gives an even more realistic touch to it, as anyone in that situation would have felt the same.I agree with Roon's comment about the last line though,that it is a bit too filmy and a bit uncharacteristic of you.But given the fact that its your article, you are free to write what you have,as it might have seemed apt to you.
ReplyDeleteNice one.....it contains everything emotions,,frndship,,tuffness of real life....n it also shows how to handle tuff situations in life n not get carried away......n I liked d title also vry much....
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